My friend had introduced us and our children were in the same drama group*, so we saw each other often. Although I noticed a close friendship developing between my friend and her, I didn’t feel any warmth from her myself. I told myself I didn’t know her well enough, that she was a mother and loved her children too, and in time we would be friends. It didn’t happen, and I realise now a crucial ingredient was missing – read on for the three essential parts to an authentic friendship.
Here are three signs of healthy friendships, don’t despair if they are not in your relationships, you still have time to nurture them if that is what you want.
- Positivity: although you share ups and downs, you can easily share laughter.
- Consistency: being there for each other, regular time spent together. This is much easier when you have a pattern of spending time together, like school or work, and shared interests.
- Trust: you both share yourselves, you let each other into your lives, the positive and the negative, you can really talk to each other and be your authentic selves.
The typical expression of opening friendship would be something like, what, you too?C.S. Lewis
What about you? What do you value in friendships? Let us know in the comments below.
Lewis, C.S, 1960. The Four Loves.
*group has been changed to protect the innocent
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