This will tell you if they have it or not…

One thing I value in others is empathy, the only thing is, it can be so difficult to tell if others genuinely have a lot of empathy or not. Apparently it is something we are born with, so it stands to reason we all have some, but who has ‘nurtured’ it over time, and who has ‘diminished’ it into adulthood?

Signs that someone has empathy:

  1. They are genuinely curious about others, and they really listen to what others are saying. They want to get to know you. You know the ones without much empathy, they ask a question but they are looking across the room, searching for a better ‘conversation’ to come along.
  2. They search for common ground with others, things that make us the same, not make us different. It’s easy to empathise with the person who looks exactly like your Mum, but what about the guy who looks like a troll?
  3. They can empathise with all different people, even their enemies – yes we all feel for the cute little toddler who has lost their toy, but how many of us can empathise with the person in the carpark who ‘stole’ our park?
  4. They try and put themselves in another person’s place to understand what they are going through. They don’t dramatise or focus on their own situations to get attention, they are genuinely interested in understanding what the other person is going through.
  5. They show compassion and provide support to people when needed, offering a helping hand or a ‘shoulder to cry on’. They are considerate and care about others’ feelings and experiences.

“Let’s point our curiosity at the people who anger us, even when ignoring them feels easier…let’s regrow our collective empathy and mend the tears in our social fabric.” Jamil Zaki

image courtesy of @StockSnap

Interestingly, highly empathetic people are happier too, so why not try and cultivate it some more? What traits do you see in those with high empathy? Share them in the comments below.



14 responses to “This will tell you if they have it or not…”

  1. The ability to really listen and then to say the right thing. Not easy to do those two things.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes this is such a good one, even for me I sometimes struggle with this one!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I really try hard to be a good listener and to say the right things if I can. Sometimes I care about others so much so I forget about myself. Finding that balance is the key. Before masks, as it’s easier to see, I like to go through my day and get at least one person to smile, and if I get more than one smile then I feel like I’ve had a good day! 😀 I try to bring some positive vibes into our lives, and sometimes it’s just a simple smile! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too about listening but not always sure I do it that well! I love your goal to get at least one person to smile each day, so beautiful ❤️ Imagine if everyone did that 🤔

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Beautiful post I am an empathetic and I have being diagnosed as a highly sensitive person i feel more when I get hurt and I try so hard not to hurt others and understand what others go through in that way I think before I judge or before I speak as words can cause so much damage Thanks for sharing this beautiful post Cris

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for this kind comment ❤️ They are great qualities to have, knowing you are a person who tries not to hurt or judge others is a great way to be 😊


  4. I’m a very empathetic person. Too much sometimes because it can seriously affect my mental health when I’m more concerned with how someone else is feeling than myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh that is so sweet Jenny! I have read that sending wishes to those you are empathising with can help when it’s getting too much ❤️


  5. This is so good, Kellie. I value empathy too and I think your ways to identify empaths are spot on. I especially agree with the curiosity one. I never thought about it before, but you are right. Curiosity is a good indicator of empathy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Laurie, yeah the curiosity one is a good indicator, I’m not saying we don’t have bad days but unfortunately some peeps never seem genuinely interested in others.


  6. This is such a thoughtful topic to write on. You have done a great job. Thankyou for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much 😊❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  7. It’s a great post – I look at the list and think you’re also describing someone who is at peace. An empathetic person who suffers from depression often finds it difficult to be themselves – which can be a major roadblock in showing who they really are. Thanks Kellie – wonderful post and blog. I look forward to reading more of your work. Kind regards, AP2 🙏

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for this kind comment 😊 I love the way of describing them as “someone at peace” 👌

      Liked by 2 people

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