This will tell you if they have it or not…

One thing I value in others is empathy, the only thing is, it can be so difficult to tell if others genuinely have a lot of empathy or not. Apparently it is something we are born with, so it stands to reason we all have some, but who has ‘nurtured’ it over time, and who has ‘diminished’ it into adulthood?

Signs that someone has empathy:

1. They are genuinely curious about others, and they really listen to what others are saying. They want to get to know you. You know the ones without much empathy, they ask a question but they are looking across the room, searching for a better ‘conversation’ to come along.
2. They search for common ground with others, things that make us the same, not make us different. It’s easy to empathise with the person who looks exactly like your Mum, but what about the guy who looks like a troll?
3. They can empathise with all different people, even their enemies – yes we all feel for the cute little toddler who has lost their toy, but how many of us can empathise with the person in the carpark who ‘stole’ our park?
4. They try and put themselves in another person’s place to understand what they are going through. They don’t dramatise or focus on their own situations to get attention, they are genuinely interested in understanding what the other person is going through.
5. They show compassion and provide support to people when needed, offering a helping hand or a ‘shoulder to cry on’. They are considerate and care about others’ feelings and experiences.

“Let’s point our curiosity at the people who anger us, even when ignoring them feels easier…let’s regrow our collective empathy and mend the tears in our social fabric.” Jamil Zaki

^{image courtesy of @StockSnap pixabay.com}

Interestingly, highly empathetic people are happier too, so why not try and cultivate it some more? What traits do you see in those with high empathy? Share them in the comments below.

References

• Reimaging empathy: The transformative nature of empathy
• https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_habits_of_highly_empathic_people1
• http://www.personal.psu.edu/faculty/j/5/j5j/papers/Empathy1990.pdf
• Building empathy: how to hack empathy and get others to care more

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