It’s your job to make me happy

I don’t believe that partners have to ‘make you a better person’, ‘complete you’ (although I’ve to to admit that was a pretty cool movie line), make you happy, or provide any other fulfilment to to improve your life. Of course if this happens on its own it’s really special, I just don’t believe it is the other person’s ‘job’. I believe they should be someone who you can grow with, someone you trust explicitly, and someone who shows you respect no matter your interests or beliefs. So how do you know you may have found this special person?

image of yellow and blue rocks on game board courtesy of @andygraham

Things to look for in your relationships:

  • They respect your interests and beliefs. Yes, they may not find playing online checkers interesting for themselves, but they don’t ridicule you or prevent you from playing yourself.
  • They want to learn about your life because they want to share it: they won’t just want to spend time alone with you, they will take a genuine interest in other parts of your life such as your friends and family. If Nanna invites you both to Sunday dinner they will go too as they know how much Nanna means to you.
  • They are there for the day-to-day and the special occasions, you can be silly or serious as the need arises, and you get to experience a full range of emotions and life experiences with them. If you had a bad day at work they will listen, or they can laugh with you if you trip over your own shoe laces.
  • They can talk through issues with you as they come up. When you have a disagreement, they have constructive things to say and genuinely listen to what you have to say too.
  • They will grow with you and change too, but their ‘big picture’ view will be similar to yours. Nobody will have to make huge life compromises as you both have similar life destinations. When you say you want to have a child one day they won’t tell you they hate children and can’t imagine ever having one.
  • They will give and take but you will know they are always willing to try.

What about you? What things would you add to the list?

A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends, your dreams, or your dignity.”

— Dinkar Kalotra


22 thoughts on “It’s your job to make me happy

  1. So very true Kellie. We’re all ultimately responsible for our own happiness. I feel very blessed to be with someone who complements me, rather than completes me. Laughter and respect are high on that list. 💙

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am with Miriam. I would add that for me, personally, agreement about the really big things—politics, child rearing, general outlook on life—is of utter importance. Fortunately, my husband and I do agree on the big things.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The difference between a co-dependent relationship (where you expect the other person to make you happy) verses a co-committed relationship (where each of you takes responsibility for his or her own happiness and the other person supports them in their journey). Thanks for sharing Kellie. PS – I love the quote. Wishing you well, AP2 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I Love this!! ❤️ “They will give and take but you will know they are always willing to try” EXACTLY!! I’ve been married 38 years, and we have been through so much together. I agree though, we both need autonomy and some how we both need each other. Being together has just blended and woven our relationship into something I’ll cherish forever. Does he complete me? I think we complete each other! 💞

    Liked by 1 person

Your thoughts are welcome here...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s